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StEVoNuB420 Retired52130 Points
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You should chek out the 8 page spread on the "Nort read the recent topic" thread.
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BECK General of the Army279811 Points
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No new post!
The longer the better! Let it grow baby!
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BECK General of the Army279811 Points
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BECKhanson wrote: › No new post!
The longer the better! Let it grow baby! |
Wow....that sounds really faggy....
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OmegaBlade IoW Regular1908 Points
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StEVoNuB420 Retired52130 Points
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From reading that post I would say that Omega is cleaning his club as we speak......NASTY!!!!
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BECK General of the Army279811 Points
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STEVOOO420 wrote: › From reading that post I would say that Omega is cleaning his club as we speak......NASTY!!!! |
BTW - Made, you should spread it out man! Nice jokes though, you spammer.
-BECK
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MIRACLE BRA ALTERNATIVE
A husband, tired of his wife asking him how she looks, buys her a full length mirror. This does little to help, as now she just stands in front of the mirror, looking at herself, asking him how she looks. One day, fresh out of the shower, she is yet again in front of the mirror, now complaining that her breasts are too small. Uncharacteristically, the husband comes up with a suggestion. "If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds." Willing to try anything, the wife fetches a piece of toilet paper, and stands in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts. "How long will this take?" she asks. "They'll grow larger over a period of years," he replies. The wife stops. "Why do you think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts everyday will make my breasts grow over the years?" she asks. The husband shrugs. "Why not, it worked for your ass, didn't it?"
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BECK General of the Army279811 Points
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MadeInTheUSA wrote: › Well, I try to spam every chance I get.
BTW did you know that Hawaii eats more spam per year then the rest of the nation? |
I did, actually. I saw some show on Food network or something that featured a bunch of Hawaiian recipes with Spam.
"Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam & Eggs." - Python
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BECK General of the Army279811 Points
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mmm....all this talk about Spam is making me hungry.
Not.
- BECK
------------------- stupid joke warning -------------------
A mother was walking down the hall when she heard a humming sound coming from her daughter's bedroom. When she opened the door she found her daughter naked on the bed with a vibrator. "What are your doing?" she exclaimed.
The daughter replied, "I'm 35 and still living at home with my parents and this is the closest I'll ever get to a husband."
Later that week the father was in the kitchen and heard a humming sound coming from the basement. When he went downstairs he found his daughter naked on a sofa with her vibrator. "What are you doing?" he exclaimed.
The daughter replied, "I'm 35 and still living at home with my parents and this is the closest I'll ever get to a husband."
A couple of days later the mother heard the humming sound again, this time in the living room. Upon entering the room, she found her husband watching television with the vibrator buzzing away beside him. "What are you doing?" she asked.
He replied, "Watching the game with my son-in-law."
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BECK General of the Army279811 Points
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Dude - those are fricken funny man.
The hamburger one - that's fucked up though....
The CIA one - funny shit.
Laughing is fun.
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smAk1 Noob0 Points
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omfg, i cant stop laughing form the cia one.
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OmegaBlade IoW Regular1908 Points
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BECK General of the Army279811 Points
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He he he....
==========================
Three men: a project manager, a software engineer, and a hardware engineer are in Ft. Lauderdale for a two-week period helping out on a project.
About midweek they decide to walk up and down the beach during their lunch hour. Halfway up the beach, they stumbled upon a lamp. As they rub the lamp a genie appears and says "Normally I would grant you 3 wishes, but since there are 3 of you, I will grant you each one wish."
The hardware engineer went first. "I would like to spend the rest of my life living in a huge house in St. Thomas, with no money worries and surrounded by beautiful women who worship me." The genie granted him his wish and sent him on off to St. Thomas.
The software engineer went next. "I would like to spend the rest of my life living on a huge yacht cruising the Mediterranean, with no money worries and surrounded by beautiful women who worship me." The genie granted him his wish and sent him off to the Mediterranean.
Last, but not least, it was the project manager's turn. "And what would your wish be?" asked the genie.
"I want them both back after lunch" replied the project manager.
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Nort El Presidente102938 Points
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i need to check these jokes more often. made really has some astounding good jokes.
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BECK General of the Army279811 Points
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Nort El Presidente102938 Points
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well i havent read much of them. i just saw the cia and hamburger. but your last joke ive seen variations of before, 2 peole make a wish, and the 3rd wishes for them back or somethign that undoes their wish.
JOKE FROM NORT
A Cuban, A Russian, and 2 American lawyers were riding on a train togethor. The cuban pulled out some fine cuban cigars, lights one up and throws the rest of the box out the window. Everyone looks at him and bursts out "WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR" to which the cuban replied in cuba we have all the fine cigars we can want. The train continues on down the track and a little bit later the Russian pulls out a nice bottle of russian vodka, he takes a shot and throws the bottle out the window. Everyone questions him "WHY DID YOU TO THAT" to which he replies "IN RUSSIAN VODKA IS LIKE WATER" They sit there in silence for awhile when all of a sudden one of the lawyers jumps up, grabs the lawyer next to him and stuffs him through the window. Everyones eye's pop out and they start yelling "WHY THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT!!!" to which the lawyer replies "IN America we have enough fucking lawyers"
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