WHAT HAPPENS TO BORED IOW MEMBERS IN WALMART
Ever wonder what happens when you get separated from your fellow IOW member in WalMart?
The following letter is being sent to Supreme commander Nort from a local WalMart Store. After sending this letter, WalMart has vowed that IOW buddies will NEVER shop at walmart again!!!
January 12, 2006
Re: Mr. Bill Fenton: Multiple Complaints
Dear Supreme commander Nort,
Over the past six months your members, IOW, has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this type of behavior and have considered banning the entire clan from shopping in any of our stores We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment. Three of our clerks are attending counseling from the trouble your clan has caused. All complaints against IOW have been compiled and are listed below.
15 Things IOW clan has done while shopping:
1. June 15: <IoW> Rainbow Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: <IoW> Karnivore Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: <IoW> Epic Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
4. July 19: <IoW> Beck Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, Code 3 in Housewares..... and watched what happened.
5. August 4: <IoW> Tangik Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.
6. September 14: <IoW> StevoNuB420 Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. September 15: <IoW> Get ready to die Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. September 23: <IoW> Nort When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and asks 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
9. October 4: <IoW> jjDYNOmight Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.
10. November 10: <IoW> Smoke While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.
11. December 3: <IoW> Shell Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the" Mission Impossible" theme.
12. December 6: <IoW> Dr.Evil In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. December 18: <IoW> LilDYNOmight Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. December 21: <IoW> SP When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"
(And, last, but not least!)
15. December 23: <IoW> Darkstrike Went into a fitting room, shut the door and waited awhile; then, yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
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