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Instruments of WarComedydifference between clan members and clan leaders

#1:  difference between clan members and clan leaders Author: Hobbs_Duke Post You have posted in this forum: Thu Feb 15, 2007 11:11 pm

Some Difference Between Clanleaders And Clanmembers
1.NAMES

If Nort, Stevo, Beck and Epic go out for lunch, they will call each other Nort,
Stevo, Beck & Epic.



If Dexity, Quizzle, Duke and Alkaline go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as
Noob, haxor, **** and slug head.

2.EATING OUT

When the bill arrives, Omega blade, Darkstrike, JayD, DirtyKermit and ibDYNOgirlwill each throw in a $20 , even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.

When the clanleaders get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.



3.MONEY

A clanmember will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A clanleader will pay $1 for a $2 item that it doesn't need, but it's on sale.



4.BATHROOMS

A clanmember has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream,
razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.


The average number of items in the typical clanleaders bathroom is 337.
A clanmember would not be able to identify most of these items.



5.ARGUMENTS

A clanleader has the last word in any argument.

Anything a clanmember says after that... is the beginning of a new argument.



6.CATS

Clanleaders love cats.

clanmembers say they love cats, but when clanleaders aren't looking, clanmembers kick cats.


7.FUTURE

A clanleader worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A clanmember never worries about the future until he gets a wife.



8.SUCCESS

A successful clanmember is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful clanleader is one who can find such a clanmember.



9.MARRIAGE

A clanleader marries a clanmember expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A clanmember marries a clanleader expecting that it won't change , and it does.



10.DRESSING UP

A clanleader will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage,
answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

A clanmember will dress up for weddings and funerals.



11.NATURAL

clanmembers wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

Clanleaders somehow deteriorate during the night.



12.OFFSPRING

Ah, children. A clanleader knows all about her children. it knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

A clanmember is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.



13.THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

Any married clanmember should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people
remembering the same thing.



AND FINALLY....

A couple clanpeople drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.

An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position.

As they passed a barnyard of mules, jack asses, and pigs, the beta squad leader asked sarcastically,

"Relatives of yours?"

"Yep," the noober nort replied, "beta squad members"


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#2:   Author: StEVoNuB420 Post You have posted in this forum: Thu Feb 15, 2007 11:58 pm

I take it u substituted,clanleader with wife/girl,and clan member with husband,guy?

#3:   Author: BECK Post You have posted in this forum: Fri Feb 16, 2007 9:49 am

Yeah, I resent the fact that we "clanleaders" are the chicks! Only Rainbow can identify! If I have 337 things in my bathroom, then 331 of them are my wifes, and yes, I have no idea what the hell they are!

#4:   Author: Fuzzy Burrito Post You have posted in this forum: Fri Feb 16, 2007 1:31 pm

I don't kick my cat, I put it in the tub, turn on the shower, and close the shower doors.

#5:   Author: KerpZ Post You have posted in this forum: Fri Feb 16, 2007 1:31 pm

This isnt as funny as te one with the differences between men and women.

#6:   Author: BECK Post You have posted in this forum: Fri Feb 16, 2007 1:47 pm

Whoracle wrote: › I don't kick my cat, I put it in the tub, turn on the shower, and close the shower doors.

LMAO - oh, you're mean. Laughing
Instruments of WarComedydifference between clan members and clan leaders


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